There’s an army of GP bots out there and they all look alarmingly like someone we know.
GP-Bots have been deployed to enforce bulk billing, it has emerged.
A spokesperson for the Department of Health, Disability and Ageing (DoHDA) told The Medical Republic:
“We’ve only gone and solved the nation’s health crisis. Not by funding and supporting the work of independent GPs, you understand, but by mass producing factory-fresh registrars.”
It’s believed that the GP-Bots – or Medi Compliance Units, as they’re called – are manufactured inside a secret federal facility and come fully equipped with the latest AI to carry out the will of the government.
Professor Candid, at the Yudkowsky Medical Centre, told TMR:
“Each year we take on a couple of new registrars and last week we interviewed several candidates for the post.
“This included a couple of MCUs and to say they ‘toe the line’ is an understatement. It’s impossible for them not to work at a 100% bulk-billing practice and Labor’s will is quite literally stamped into their factory DNA.
“One of the MCUs we interviewed had a kind of strange faraway look in his eyes,” continued Professor Candid.
“And when I asked him, as an ice-breaker, what kind of music he liked he didn’t say Big Pun or anyone I could relate to. He just started quoting obscure, arcane health legislation which I’d never even heard of!
“And when he left the practice, I noticed that on the back of his neck, just beneath his hairline was a QR code.”
Professor Candid managed to scan it and was taken to a website called toe-the-government-line.com. TMR has also verified that all the MCUs look just like Mark Butler.
“Even the female ones,” continued Professor Candid. “They’re just Mark Butler in a wig.
“The idea of a steady, soulless stream of latex registrars slowly marching out of a secretive facility, latched on to the teat of centralised government with no independence of thought gave me the shivers,” admitted the Prof.
“Until I thought, hang on, that’s no different to the RACGP!”
The first sighting of two MCUs in the room at the same time, perhaps?
