Think of it like shanking, but with more greeting cards and discount nail polish.
Following the Pharmacy Guild’s push to prescribe Schedule 8 medications, the Royal Australian College of General Practitioners (RACGP) has abandoned traditional diplomacy in favour of “scorched earth” retail tactics it has emerged.
“As far as we’re concerned it’s gloves off and the era of GPs sticking to medicine is officially over,” an RACGP spokesperson told The Medical Republic.
“If they want to play doctor, we can play shopkeeper,” continued the spokesperson, “and we’re going to be better at it as well.
“We have a captive audience that’s been sitting in our waiting rooms for 45 minutes past their appointment time, they’re bored, they’re desperate, and they’re prime targets for impulse-buying a discounted bottle of Brut or a three-pack of sensible compression hosiery.”
The college has written to all of its members and informed them that as of next month they can start selling as many plastic nit combs, $3 dollar reading glasses and cheap bottles of after-shave as they like.
“General Practice will start supplying wares that have been traditionally sold by pharmacists,” continued the college spokesperson.
“And the best model will allow qualified GPs to obtain, possess, administer, sell, supply and review Mother’s Day cards, jellybeans and sunscreen within their individual, self-determined documented scope of practice.
“We’re going to hit the pharmacy guild where it hurts and start taking trade away from them for a change”
The Pharmacy Guild has yet to respond.
