Why not? It’s not like the current system works.
GPs are turning to Tarot cards to beat waiting lists, it has emerged.
“I referred a patient to the public hospital for a knee replacement,” Professor Candid told The Medical Republic.
“And eight years later he’s still hobbling around on the non-urgent waiting list.
“I then realised that preventative medicine is no longer enough, I would have to start practising presciently, and refer patients years before they develop the problem in the first place.”
That’s when he hit on the idea of swapping his stethoscope for the occult.
“When a healthy 20-year-old now comes through the door I spread out the major and minor arcana and if the cards say he’s going to injure his knee falling off his e-bike I refer him to the public hospital years before it’s even happened,” Professor Candid continued.
31-year-old Julie told TMR: “I went to the GP with a bit of niggly elbow pain and before I knew it he’d turned over three cards – temperance, the fool, and judgement, which apparently means I’m going to get osteoarthritis, type 2 diabetes and hepatic steatosis, whatever that is. I’m just thankful he didn’t deal the death card”.
“To be completely honest, I didn’t really need the divine, mystical power of the Tarot to figure out Julie’s future,” admitted Prof Candid.
“She eats way too much cake and thinks walking to the fridge and back is exercise, so all of her problems were already well and truly on the cards.”
“I can hear you, you know,” said Julie. “And my elbow still hurts, by the way”
