I think I might be getting a bit old for all this skibidi six-seven brainrot.
The doctor workforce is ageing and the number of physicians at or near retirement age is increasing. But are you too old for general practice? If you have these personality quirks you may well be.
You type deliberately and slowly with just two fingers. Not because you have to, you can touch type with the best of them, but because being able to type was something a secretary used to do. Slow typing is a sullen, silent badge of honour and it means you’re probably about 30 years behind the times.
You say things like “there’s a bloody app for everything these days isn’t there”. And you insist on referring to WhatsApp as “WhatsUp” even though you know it annoys the shit out of everyone.
You look forward to Best Practice updates because it inevitably means the whole system crashing and you can get your prescription pad out and sign your handwritten scripts in triplicate. Now where did you put your ink pen?
You refuse to use Lyrebird because you have no idea what AI or cloud storage is. You also believe that Lyrebird can read minds. Why else would you be getting Dan Murphy’s adverts every Friday evening?
You can’t make out the patient’s mobile phone number without backing a good four feet away from the screen, and even then you have to manually put spaces in so you can read it.
You reply to text messages with a completely ambiguous emoji. For example, if your daughter asks you if you would like to go round to hers for dinner tonight you’re seemingly oblivious to the fact that a cheeky winking face conveys no serviceable information whatsoever.
You have no idea what “fire” means, you’ve never heard of “cap” you can’t get your head around “six seven!” you’re certainly unaware that “bussin” has nothing to do with public transport and when you hear “on skibidi I gotta watch Italian brainrot tralalero tralala” you want to kill yourself.
You insist on using outdated medical jargon like hysteria, cretin, apoplexy and consumption and you refer to the practice nurse as “sister”. You refuse to update your medical lingo even though it takes you a good 10 minutes to type “lugubrious valetudinarian with a strong supra-tentorial component” in the notes when you could just type NAD.
You don’t just fill out Centrelink forms, make referrals and talk to people, you can deliver babies with shoulder dystocia, perform lumbar punctures and you even have a set of trepanning instruments in your bottom drawer just in case a subdural staggers in. You could probably even take your own appendix out if you had to.
GPs these days don’t know they’re born!
If you agree with this statement then it’s probably high time you retired.
