I guess those antibiotic prescribing guidelines never reached the farms, huh.
Chickens pumped full of antibiotics are unimpressed by prescribing targets, it has emerged.
Imagine: a long line of eggs slowly trundles along a conveyor belt and stops beneath a hypodermic syringe, the needle comes down and the eggs receive their first shot of cephalosporin before heading off to the hatchery.
Sadly, it’s a scene repeated again and again all over Australia.
The Medical Republic visited a commercial poultry farm and spoke with a six week old chicken called Tony.
“When people think of farms,” said Tony, “they imagine ruddy-faced salt-of-the-earth types getting up at the crack of dawn just to wade through shit, but this place is like a laboratory.
“I haven’t seen grass since I was an egg, I’ve never had so much as a whiff of fresh air and I’ve had more antibiotics than you’ve had hot dinners.
“The problem is I’m going to end up being your hot dinner.”
Chicken expert Professor Candid told TMR: “If you think the irresponsible prescribing of antibiotics by GPs is bad, just take a trip to your local poultry farm.
“Broiler blood is like bleach – and at the end of the day – regulating GPs to curb antibiotic resistance is like farting against thunder.”
“All life is valuable,” Tony told TMR.
“Well when I say ‘all life’, my life is valued at exactly two bucks, but you get the point.
“Right, that’s the van, I’ll see you lot in Aldi after I’ve been flattened and cut into dinosaur shapes just to amuse your ungrateful children.”
