Backyard dental surgery. Because you’re worth it

3 minute read

The latest from the Little Shop of TikTok Horrors.

If you are ever in need of solid evidence that society is careening towards hell in handcart, then look no further than the video-sharing app called TikTok.

Your Back Page scribbler is an infrequent and reluctant visitor to this inexplicably popular platform, but when we do venture there it is in the pursuit of public service – as in, we are wading into this diabolical dreck so that you don’t have to.

Our latest excursion sees us encountering the mind-bogglingly stupid and insanely dangerous TikTok phenomenon of “veneer technicians”.

In a nutshell, these are videos of folks performing totally illegal surgeries, primarily implanting cosmetic dental veneers on unsuspecting clients, all as part of decidedly dubious get-rich-quick schemes.

Yes, you read that correctly, dental veneers. You know, scraping away the enamel and filing down the tooth then placing blinding white porcelain coverings over the mangled fangs in an attempt to look like an actor on Days of Our Lives.

It’s not a procedure that is particularly safe and simple for a fully qualified dentist to perform, let alone by an amateur who has – and we are not making this up – completed a TWO-DAY training course.

But here we have TikTok videos claiming these “veneer techs” are making up to US$5000 a week by offering exactly this practice.

One video, by an account called “Atlanta Veneer Specialists”, demonstrates a US$6000 veneer course taught by a Colombian entrepreneur who runs a YouTube channel called “Dental Veneers Academy.”

Unsurprisingly, actual dentists are horrified by these cowboys and have taken to social media themselves to warn of what most sane people would regard as the blindingly obvious dangers of undergoing backyard dental surgery.   

“These people are literally going out there and destroying mouths,” cosmetic dentist Kishen Godhia says in a recent posting. “There’s no way on earth that you can learn everything there is to know about veneers in two days.”

But wait, it gets worse. It’s not just veneers that the scamsters are spruiking. There’s also the barking mad existence of something called “basement braces” making the rounds on social media.

We don’t think you need to be a dentist to understand how badly a “do-it-yourself” teeth braces operation could go awry.

But we clearly don’t spend enough time on TikTok, so what would we know?

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