Brutal new CPD compliance methods revealed

2 minute read

One GP’s chilling encounter hints at what to expect from the new professional education regime.

An evil puppet known only as Mr Punch has introduced major changes to GPs’ continuing professional development.

“It was an ordinary Wednesday afternoon,” Dr Patrick Kirkpatrick told The Medical Republic. “I’d logged onto the RACGP website and was busily reviewing my CPD dashboard when things started to get weird.”

Even though there was a clear sky outside, Dr Kirkpatrick heard the distant rumble of thunder.

“The first thing I noticed was that the light coming in through the windows had changed: it was distorted, fragmented, like light filtering through a stained-glass window.”

It was then that the evil Mr Punch appeared.

“I tried to fight him off but he was just too strong – he threw himself at me and before I knew it he’d pummelled me over the head with his little stick.”

When he came to, Mr Punch had tied ropes around his wrists and ankles. 

“He hauled me off the floor and started to control my limbs like an evil puppeteer.

“Things are a little hazy but I do remember him singing along to Aztec Camera’s 1987 classic Somewhere in my heart as loud as he could.”

For the next two days Dr Kirkpatrick was forced to furiously write great screeds of reflective learning, including professional development plans, audit cycles, significant event analyses and case-based discussions.

Exactly 50 hours into the ordeal Mr Punch vanished, leaving Dr Kirkpatrick crumpled and broken on the floor.

“The ropes had been cut and my nose had been bloodied but to my immense relief my annual CPD was done,” he said.

“I’m still bruised and shaken – and I know I’ve got to go through it all again next year.”

Mr Punch promises to visit every single GP in Australia to make sure that the important job of revalidation – ahem, CPD is finally done properly.

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