GPs fearful as oxygen tax hits practices

2 minute read

The tax seems punitive but the government isn’t budging.

A controversial oxygen tax is being levied on general practice, it has emerged.  

Tax expert Professor Candid told The Medical Republic: “It appears that the federal government has decided to push ahead with its controversial oxygen tax and will be rolling it out in all states and territories over the next few months. It’s not clear how primary care will be affected but undoubtedly some businesses will be hit pretty hard. Primarily the ones where people breathe.”  

Dr Priestley from the Phlogiston Medical Centre, where the new tax has already been introduced, told TMR: “We got through covid, survived the cost of living crisis and even managed to pull through the whole fiasco of payroll tax, but to think that we’re now going to be taxed on the amount of oxygen we use is a step too far! 

“Yesterday I was halfway through a consultation when the alarm system went off and warned me that I was running dangerously low on oxygen. I had to scramble around for a two-dollar coin to put in the meter and only just managed to crank it up in time.  Luckily my patient had nasal cannulae otherwise he would’ve been a goner.  

“It seems like the government wants to finish GPs off for good and replace us with pharmacists and ChatGPT.”  

A treasury spokesperson told TMR: “Because there’s an obvious employer-employee relationship embedded in most GP contracts we think it only fair that they start to pay tax on the amount of oxygen they use in their day-to-day work. What do you mean that’s illogical? OK, think of it like a carbon tax, but for oxygen.”  

“Last week our practice couldn’t afford to keep up with the payments,” said another affected GP, Dr Lavoisier. “So the government switched off our oxygen supply. Have you ever seen a whole waiting room full of people slowly asphyxiating? It’s a messy business. I’ve been a doctor for a long time but I didn’t know people could go that lovely blue colour!”  

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