Mattel unveils ‘Med-School Barbie’

2 minute read

Barbie can be anything, but it comes at a cost.

Riding the pink wave of Barbie movie publicity for all it’s worth, toy maker Mattel has announced a new addition to the lineup.

“We’re very proud of Med-School Barbie,” a spokesperson for Mattel told The Medical Republic. “She’s the latest in a long line of innovative products.

“When you get her out of her box she’s all sparkly and wide-eyed and playful. There’s nothing she won’t do, there’s no hospital she won’t go to and there’s no gap in the rota she won’t plug – she’s full of zest and enthusiastic quips and says ‘yes’ all the time.”

But Med-School Barbie is unlike other dolls, being the first doll ever made that can age. This process happens quickly once she becomes a GP and even faster when sets up her own practice.

“Over time the medical profession begins to weigh heavily on her,” the spokesperson continued. “And as she gets older she loses her youthful bounce and becomes cynical and embittered and even develops a bit of a drink problem.”

It’s hoped that the new doll will help teach children some invaluable life lessons about pursuing their dreams and helping others. 

Laura, a mother of three from Queensland, told TMR: “I bought Med-School Barbie for my youngest who exalted superficial good looks and blonde hair, but I think she’s now grasped that it doesn’t really matter what you look like for very long. Getting paid less to work harder than your male counterparts and having your ideas ignored can really age you, and fast. I mean, we’ve only had her a month and look at how realistic her little crows’ feet are.”

“Right out of the box Med-School Barbie has the same career trajectory as Ken,” continued the Mattel spokesperson.

“But childbirth and family commitments as well as looking after elderly parents and maintaining a career in medicine eventually take their toll. By the time Barbie’s 50 she looks worn out and no one wants to play with her any more, and after a while she’s quietly put back into her box and forgotten about.                                               

“Meanwhile, Ken looks the same at 50 as he did when he was 23 and earns three times as much as Barbie. You won’t see that in the movie.”

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