A TMR investigation has uncovered large-scale fraud happening right under the PSR’s nose.
A ruthless gang of GPs nicknamed the Derelict Doctors Motorcycle Club has reportedly defrauded $8 billion from Medicare.
“We were fed up working all hours billing 23s for a pittance,” gang leader Dr Nigel Short told The Medical Republic, “but then I overheard my grandson playing Pete & Bas’s Mr Worldwide and decided to set up the Derelicts.”
Before his life in the gang, Nigel’s only crime was lying about still being a medical student at 43 so he could get concession tickets at the movies.
“Rather than deal methamphetamines on the street or suboxone in the prisons,” explained Nigel, “we decided to bill Medicare as much as we could. In our first year we managed to rake in over $8 billion.”
Nigel now lives in a fortress made out of diamonds and when he’s not relaxing in a marble bath tub full of champagne he’s eating cake with gold icing and shovelling cash in to a platinum fire pit.
From his bathtub, and with a mouthful of cake, Nigel told TMR: “It’s OP bruh. We’ve got our own badge and everything, it’s a burning staff with two snakes wrapped round it, a sort of flaming caduceus, and we’ve got some serious drip as well.”
TMR was not familiar with the word drip, but according to Wikipedia “when your bling is iced out but that shit melting from all your hot bars, you got the drip”. Bruh.
Because of the amount of money involved in defrauding Medicare the club faces stiff competition, most notably from a group of violent chiropractors called the Back Breakers and a gang of deviant outlawed dieticians known as Darwin’s Diabolos.Â
