Professor narrowly escapes death by CPD

2 minute read

Near-lethal levels of boredom have been detected in GPs attempting to keep up to date with online videos.

Professor Candid has lost his mind while watching a 16-hour online GP update course, The Medical Republic can report.

“One of my new year’s resolutions, apart from drinking more, was to keep up to speed with my CPD,” Professor Candid told TMR. “I was so determined not to leave everything to the last minute that I subscribed to an online update course and settled down with pen and paper ready to make notes.”  

Four hours into his educational marathon, Professor Candid wanted to pull his eyeballs out through his nose just to relieve the tedium.

“I couldn’t take it any more,” he said. “Sitting through 90 minutes of dyslipidaemia guidelines was the mental equivalent of pulling an unlubricated length of barbed wire out of my urethra.

“During brief moments of comic levity the presenters shouted things like ‘To Q risk or not to Q risk, that is the question!’ But this made the whole thing even worse, and I started shouting obscenities at my computer.

“I was so bored I even thought about knocking one out, but doing it while some serious GP chick talked about gout didn’t seem appropriate. That’s when I hit on the idea of drinking a lot of Glenfiddich and in 12 hours it was all over.

“I had a bastard behind the eyes but 16 hours of CPD under my belt and a certificate to prove it,” Professor Candid concluded. “Mercifully I can’t remember a thing and the good news is I won’t have to do it again for another year!”  

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