Taking the pAIn out of patient records

5 minute read

Scribe-o-Matic turns imperfect patient interactions into perfect notes.

Large language models like ChatGPT4 are likely to find an application as digital scribes, once all those irritating privacy and safety concerns are ironed out. 

AI expert Professor Candid told The Medical Republic: “LLMs can assist GPs to create health records by listening in to conversations and creating summaries of the clinical content.

“And so I created Scribe-o-Matic to do just that. Here are just some of the examples.”

Consultation #1 

Prof Candid: Hi there Geoff, you’re not looking too good today. 

Geoff: Nah, me back’s knackered.

Prof Candid: Tell me more?

Geoff: Not much to say really, Doc. I was rootin’ the wife the other day and me back just went on me, leg’s as numb as a bitch in the rain. Should come good though. 

Prof Candid: Any tingling in your leg, Geoff? 

Geoff: Nah.

Prof Candid: Any bladder or bowel problems? 

Geoff: Why the f**k are you asking me that? If you’re asking me if I shit meself the answer’s no, well not unless I’ve had a skinful. 

Prof Candid: That’s ok. What have you tried for it? 

Geoff: Nothin’. I’m after some pills Doc, some pills and she’ll be right as rain. And make ’em strong too, none of that Voltaren shit, that endone’s pretty good. 

Prof Candid: Not sure about endone Geoff, I’ll get you some codapane instead. How about that? 

Geoff: Whatever you say Doc. [Whispers:] Arsehole.


Geoff is a corpulent 58-year-old gentleman who presented today with mechanical low back pain. This occurred while Geoff was gardening with his wife (clinician to check definition of the verb: rooting). He denies any red flags and agreed to a short course of analgesia. He will come back if there is no improvement in his symptoms. Geoff appeared dissatisfied at the end of the consultation as his needs may not have been met. 

Signed electronically, 


Consultation # 2 

Prof Candid: Hi Dylan, you’re looking a bit shaky today, what’s happening? 

Dylan: Shush you idiot, they might be listening.

Prof Candid: Say again? 

Dylan: Them, they’re everywhere, they’re even behind that eye chart on the wall over there. 

Prof Candid: Have you been on the gear again, Dylan? 

Dylan: I have Doc, but I can see clearer on it. That’s how I know they want every last bit of information from me.

Prof Candid: Why do you think they want that, Dylan? 

Dylan: Because I started up my own business, Doc, a jewellery business. 

Prof Candid: Did you? 

Dylan: Yeah, it was going really well as well, I designed all the pieces myself, I spent ages crafting them in the kitchen. I had some top buyers lined up like Cate Blanchett and then … 

Prof Candid: And then? 

Dylan: And then I came round from the meth and saw that my amazing jewellery pieces were actually just rolled up bits of bread stuck on the carpet and there was no jewellery business and no Cate Blanchett.

Prof Candid: When was the last time you slept, Dylan? 

Dylan: Three days ago.

Prof Candid: Right, here’s some mirtazapine, get some sleep, come back and see me at the end of the week. 

Dylan: Ok, Doc. Oh by the way, you might want to look behind your eye chart.

Prof Candid: Why? 

Dylan: Call me paranoid but I think there might be a bugging device there, one of those listening devices that the new talking robots use, those chatbots. They’re everywhere these days! 


Dylan is a 34-year-old gentleman with a history of smoked methamphetamine misuse. He presented today with some low-lying psychotic features secondary to stimulant misuse and was prescribed mirtazapine 15mg once at night. He will be reviewed later in the week. 

Signed electronically,


Consultation # 3 

Prof Candid: We’ve never met before, how can I help? 

Dave : I’ve heard you bulk bill.

Prof Candid: Sometimes we do, yes.

Dave: Yeah, well my doc gets me temazepam and Seroquel but he charges a fortune now and I can’t afford it. Besides I can’t even get in to see him.

Prof Candid: Ok.

Dave: Yeah, so gimme the scripts and I’ll be on my way.

Prof Candid: I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that. 

Dave: What do you mean? I can’t afford his fee, he charges like forty bucks just for a script and I can’t just stop this stuff you know, I’ve got bipolar and paranoid schizophrenia and ADHD.  

Prof Candid: I understand your predicament Dave but …

Dave: If you stop it, it’ll be murder.

Prof Candid: I’m sorry Dave but I …

Dave: Oh go and f**k yourself! You’ll be sorry when I top myself.

Prof Candid: Bye Dave. 


David is a new patient who according to scriptcheck software has a history of doctor shopping. He presented today attempting to procure scripts of benzodiazepines and anti-psychotics which were politely declined. David will be sent a letter in the post about his responsibilities toward staff members and a reminder that aggressive behaviour will not be tolerated at the practice.  

Signed electronically,


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