Has the college considered ritual sacrifice as an option?
A massive wicker man has been built for RACP leadership, it has emerged.
Professor Candid, a fully paid up member of the RACP, told The Medical Republic: “Following our chaotic meeting last month, during which the police were called and we voted to turf out president Professor Jennifer Martin, we received an email saying that none of it was valid.”
“We were quite disappointed to be honest,” admitted Prof, “but not dispirited, and so in our spare time we’ve been busy building a giant wicker man.”
The wicker man, seen by TMR, now stands at over sixty feet tall and is a massive hollow effigy constructed from woven wicker around a timber framework.
There is also a central compartment in the torso snug enough for one.
“It’s amazing what you can when you put your mind to it,” admitted Prof Candid.
“During the next EGM we’re going to dance arm in arm in traditional pagan dress while others wheel in the wicker man and get the torches and kindling ready.
The board told TMR: “We are treating reports of the construction of a massive wicker man for the express purpose of burning a board member alive extremely seriously. Pagan rituals threaten the effectiveness of our operations and represent a sacrificial pyre to good governance, fairness and transparency.”
