The Pharmacy Guild of Australia’s talents are wasted on healthcare.
Pharmacy Guild to open up the Strait of Hormuz, it has emerged.
Buoyed up by their recent successes, which mainly involve prescribing antibiotics for a UTI you don’t even have, the pharmacy guild has now volunteered to solve several of the world’s thorniest problems.
“We’re not going to limit ourselves to treating UTIs, relieving pressures on emergency departments and reducing ambulance ramping times,” a guild spokesperson told The Medical Republic.
“Why stop there when we have the training and competence to re-open the strait of Hormuz, solve the climate change problem, restore harmony to Ukraine and the middle east and facilitate nuclear disarmament.”
The guild believes it can single handedly wind the Doomsday clock back to quarter past four.
“We only need one thing,” continued the spokesperson, “and that’s oodles and oodles of lovely cash, and an insane belief in our own abilities.”
“Actually, I guess that’s three things.”
Geopolitical expert Professor Candid told TMR: “The guild really does think they’re a knight in shining armour who has come riding in to save us all, when in reality they’re more like the horse.”
“Come to think of it though they’re actually more like a great big dollop of steaming horse sh..”
More to come.
