Your GP may look like a normal bloke, but he’s evolved into an augmented being designed to treat you.
Welcome to this week’s episode of “Exploring Anatomy”.
This week we’re exploring the anatomy of a GP.
This is a typical GP.
Handsome, isn’t he?
You may be surprised to learn that he has the same body parts as you. But he also has some extra ones as well
Take his brain for example. There is a special area inside his brain known as the Medicare Benefits Scheme Coding Centre or MBS-CC for short.
The MBS-CC is a specialised area of the brain that deals with arbitrary numbers assigned by an arbitrary committee according to arbitrary criteria.
If a GP works fulltime the MBS-coding centre in his brain can swell up to the size of a baby’s arm.
Which makes wearing a hat really difficult.
But that’s not the only difference.
As the old adage goes: “you can close your eyes but you can’t close your ears”.
But our GP has got around this problem. He’s evolved a special valve system which allows him to close off his ears from the ceaseless torrent of nonsense that bombards him every moment of every working day.
When Mrs Smith tells him that she has two stomachs and has accidentally swallowed her pelvis he just hears a muffled, monotonous hum.
Also, unlike a regular person’s nose a GP’s nose contains special filters which means you can go into his room and cough germs all over him, safe in the knowledge that he’ll never get ill.
And finally, a GP has to be really good at multi-tasking. So, when he’s running an hour late and his waiting room is full of patients and he hasn’t found time to empty his bladder or refer Mrs Smith with her two stomachs for yet another endoscopy he can always employ his additional limb to help out.
A GP needs all of these extra bits of anatomy just to be able to look after you and your family and get through the working day.
Next time we look at The Anatomy of a Fall and ask, was it really that good?
