Capitation II: The Enrollening

2 minute read

British GPs thought they were safe here. They didn’t count on … MyMedicare.

“It’s happening again …”  

A group of vocal British expat GPs who moved to Australia to escape the rapacious jaws of the NHS feel like they’re trapped in a horror movie sequel, it has emerged. 

Dr Emmie Holdsworth, a British-born GP, told The Medical Republic: “I lived through the whole nightmare of working as a salaried GP in Birmingham and I experienced at first hand the horror show of QoF and CQC inspections and survived the trauma of revalidation and the GMC.  

“I came to Australia for a fresh start and to be honest it was great for the first few years but now the Labor government seems to have got hold of the same script and is intent on directing a terrible sequel.”

Cinema expert Professor Candid told TMR: “If a GP like Emmie is the naive teenager unnecessarily curious about the basement, then MyMedicare is Michael Myers in his Halloween mask.”

“I agree with that,” said Emmie, “and I’d go even further and say that MyMedicare is to the NHS what Halloween II is to John Carpenter’s original cult classic.  

“I’m warning all of you now! The dagger of increased governmental control is out and it will slice through the struggling flesh of the profession before you’ve had a chance to scream and the whole thing will end up soaked in blood. I’m not mad or paranoid, I’ve just lived through it all before!”

Professor Candid continued: “The problem with movie sequels is that they’re never quite as good as the original. Except Terminator 2 Judgement Day. That’s brilliant. But most of them are worse. So GPs should be afraid – very afraid.”  

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