Clinics sourcing registrars from Dark Med

2 minute read

Trainees are in short supply, which has some practices recruiting from the underworld of the internet.

GP registrars are being sold on the medical dark net, it has emerged. 

The number of GP registrars is at an all time low and in 2024 some practices run the real risk of missing out on a trainee. 

“For as long as I can remember we’ve had registrars at the practice,” Professor Candid told The Medical Republic, “which is great for the team because it keeps the supervisors on their toes and more importantly it helps us meet the ever-growing demand from our patients.

“But we were told by the college that next year there wouldn’t be enough registrars to go around, so we decided to go on the dark net to see what we could find.”

It wasn’t long before the Professor came across a website called “Dark Medical”.

“Dark Medical sold all sorts of dodgy things,” he said. “But after a bit of digging we eventually found a GP registrar for sale. I paid in Bitcoin and when the crate came I cracked it open with a crowbar, only to discover that they hadn’t sent me a registrar at all.” 

Professor Candid was disappointed to see they’d sent him a tiger penis wrapped up in a 10kg bag of coke instead.   

“The tiger penis is still in my drawer,” he said, “and to be honest I haven’t found a use for it yet. They say it’s a good fertility treatment, but in my professional experience human male genitalia offer a much greater chance of success.”

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