Gents, please welcome the Widdleometer

2 minute read

Good news for everyone who has ever wondered how fast their pee goes.

Sydney GP and tinkerer Dr Adrian Sheen has officially launched the Wwddleometer, a device designed to measure the speed of one’s pee.

If you’re asking why, you’re probably not a man over 50 with an enlarged prostate.

The Medical Republic was lucky enough to receive a sneak peek of the device at the Rural Medicine Australia conference in Tasmania last week.

The TMR office, er, sample

It’s based on a simple underlying principle: prostate cancer is scary and a lot of men would rather not talk about it.

The Widdleometer, on the other hand, is fun. Silly, even. Frivolous and novel for certain. Just listen to the peppy music on this video:

It would be remiss not to give special mention to the Widdleometer’s theme song, which starts at 1:11. Thank me later.

The device itself resembles a funnel with a cup on the top.

Men are instructed to use it with a full bladder between 10am and 6pm.

If they have a healthy flow, they should be able to fill the funnel section of the device to its brim before it drains nine times out of 10.

Those that can’t are advised to see their family doctor.

This is an n = 1 survey, but if I were a man of a certain age I feel confident that I would jump at the chance to compare my urine flow with that of my friends, peers and colleagues.

Hell, I’d set up an excel spreadsheet documenting my domination in the fast piss landscape.

But then, men aren’t competitive enough for something as silly as a … pissing contest … are they?

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