Can you say ‘democracy’?
Hello everyone!
Today we’re going to talk about “elections”.
A free and fair election helps define a democracy.
In Australia we have an election every three years. This is to remind wage slaves who can barely afford their rent that they live in a “democracy”.
Write “democracy” in your copybook and then draw a big line through it.
Elections are exciting!
On Saturday 3 May you’ll have to queue up for hours in a carpark with your mum and dad while they vote for a party that they know next to nothing about. What’s the difference between Labor and Liberal again? What’s a Teal? What ever happened to Barnaby Joyce? But you do get a sausage with some barbecue sauce on it, so everyone’s a winner!
Except that nobody wins after the election because we now live in a society where the average nurse pays more tax than squillionaire rocket-man Jeff Bezos.
In fact Bezos, Elon Musk and Bill Gates, otherwise known as the three wise men, have the same assets as the bottom 50% of American society. They’re as rich and powerful as mediaeval kings!
Write “peasants’ revolt” in your copybook, followed by a question mark.
And if your dad thinks “It’s different in Australia, we’re not ruled by an orange man whose only talent is being able to cover 90% of his head with just 10% of his hair!” then spare a thought for the top 1% of Australians who currently hold 21.8% of the country’s wealth.
And what do rich people buy with all that lovely money? That’s right, they buy your mum and dad’s house! And the rest of their street, and the factory down the road!
If you’re lucky you might get on the property ladder in your mid-40s. Write “mid-life crisis” in your copybook and underline it in red.
But it’s not just the economy which is going to determine who wins this year’s election: health is a political battle ground too.
The parties have spent an awful lot of money on ads trying to convince people that they care. These ads say things like “we’re making it easier for every Australian to see a GP for free” or “we’ll deliver more bulk billing than ever before” and “in just three years we’ve opened 87 free Medicare urgent care clinics”.
They use terms like “building”, “creating” and “future”. These are empty words full of empty promises that distort reality like a hall of mirrors.
Write “lies” in your copybook and underline it in red, twice.
In real life, lies have consequences. Like the time your dad came back home late and your mum could smell whiskey on his breath. She denied him “special cuddles” for three months after that!
But unlike your dad, politicians don’t face any consequences for lying. They just get a big pat on the back and enough money to build a Playboy Mansion next to the ocean.
Remember, once a party is elected it can do anything it likes.
For example, it could decide not to do any of the unrealistic things it promised to do during the election campaign.
Or, like in the US, they might do exactly what they promised, and people will still be disappointed! There’s no pleasing some people.
And that’s why they don’t really care what you or your mum or dad think, except on this one special day.
With apologies to Ladybird Books.
