Poor Troy. He may look like an idiot, but don’t be fooled! He’s actually a moron.
Looksmaxxing influencer now looks like a cube, it has emerged.
“I’ve been lookmaxxing for six years now” social media influencer Troy Peters told The Medical Republic.
“I usually start the day by banging myself with a hammer. Then I cool my face down, or what’s left of it, with an iced cucumber before performing a full eight hours of jaw and facial exercises, followed by more hammering and more cucumbers. It’s a full time occupation”
When TMR asked him how he rated his looks he pondered his attractiveness before giving himself a solid 9 out of 10.
“With a bit more work and a few more amino acids I could become a full ten.”
“I didn’t set off on this journey wanting to look like a cube,” admitted Troy.
“I wanted to look more like a wolf to be honest. Having said that I do have a very sharp jaw line which makes me much better than you”.
He then started mogging which was all a bit awkward.
Manosphere expert Professor Candid told TMR: “I watched hours of Troy on social media and decided to give it a go, but after a couple of weeks of hammering I started to look like that fella from the Goonies. And I mean the ugly one, not the fat one”.
“Anyone that doesn’t resemble a cube is not a very good looking human,” said Troy
“In fact next year I’m thinking about taking the whole cube thing to the next level and going full Rubik.”
