One GP left working in Australia

2 minute read

Thanks to self-culling, the government is on track to save even more Medicare money by next year.

The total number of GPs working in Australia has been reduced to just one, the Department of Health has revealed.

A representative from the DoH told TMR: “Measures were introduced back in 2018 to reduce the number of GPs in Australia. The main reason for this was to save on Medicare.

“With covid and natural attrition coupled with GPs retiring and just leaving the profession through being bloody well fed up, we’ve seen the total number of GPs falling year on year.

“This year we are pleased to announce that there is only one GP left. Nice guy, his name’s Greg.”

TMR found Dr Greg Christian leaving his suburban practice yesterday evening and gave him the news. 

“Oh!” said Dr Christian “I thought it was f***ing busy!”

Next year the DoH has forecast that there will be a total of minus three GPs working in Australia.

When asked how a minus GP works, the spokesperson said: “If a normal GP comes into contact with a minus GP then they cancel each other out.

“We ran a pilot study and when they shook hands they disappeared in a small green explosion, which left a stain on the carpet and a funny smell of burnt almonds.”

Despite the risk of small explosions and ruined carpets, Medicare looks set to make some serious savings in the coming year.

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