Five self-care tips for relieving stress and tension, only one of which is vodka.
Professor Candid shares five handy tips to help improve your working life:
- Close the practice. When you arrive at work do you find a long line of half-dead patients already queuing up at the door? Is it like Day of the Dead out there? If so then why not try something simple like locking the doors. If this doesn’t work, barricade the doors shut and set fire to some tyres, this should keep them at bay until dawn.
- Make a life-sized effigy of your nemesis patient. We’ve all got a nemesis patient, haven’t we? Mine has purple hair and walks with a single crutch. Once you’ve made your effigy try doing fun things to it, like putting it into a shopping trolley and wheeling it off the top floor of a multi-storey car-park or tying it to the back of your car and doing victory laps around the block.
- Take up a meaningful hobby. Why not try your hand at building a dolls house? Once you’ve built it, fill it with miniature cameras and then film in slow motion as you stick your tongue through the front door. Or how about something more ambitious like teaching cats how to snorkel. Whatever it is, as long as it demands focus and concentration it will help keep you sane.
- Vodka. When you’ve worked in general practice for long enough you’ll realise that life is pointless and everything dies. Once you’ve discovered this you’ll also discover vodka. The only drawback to drinking a litre of spirits for breakfast is that you’ll spend the rest of your day dry retching.
- Try writing. This could be anything, from a patient’s pamphlet to a weekly column to a full-blown novel. There’s nothing quite like the creative process to prevent you from doing any of the above.