More like Medievalcare. Guards, seize him!
A Labor insider has spilled the beans on the next Medicare initiative.
“We’re launching a bold new initiative to boost bulk billing rates,” they told The Medical Republic.
“To cut a long story short we’re going to bolt non-compliant GPs in to wooden stocks and allow members of the public to throw rotten turnips at them.”
The Strengthening Medicare through public humiliation scheme replaces standard financial penalties with a classic 14th century punishment.
“We’ve tried increasing the incentive and writing coercive letters to practices,” continued the Labor insider.
“But some doctors still insist on paying their electricity bills.
“So now, if we find any GP charging a $30 out-of-pocket fee they’ll be padlocked into a timber frame in the middle of the town square with a sign above their head saying something generous like ‘this cretin refuses to bulk bill’.
“It’s amazing what you can do with an angry mob and bucket load of mouldy old turnips, but to be honest non bulk-billing GPs should just be grateful we didn’t decide to hang, draw and quarter them at the town gibbet.
“Now wait a minute…there’s a thought!”
