Roll up! See the last bulk billing GP here!

2 minute read

A travelling circus has recruited the last universally bulk billing GP to its troupe of oddities.

The last ever GP to bulk bill all his patients will go on display it has emerged.  

“I run a Belarusian circus with an international reputation,” impresario Dimitri Volkov told The Medical Republic.  

“And for the last five years we’ve been touring around Australia. We’re always on the lookout for new talent and new curiosities, and because the sight of a bulk bulling GP is so rare these days we realised we simply had to take him on tour with us. 

“The nomadic life isn’t for everyone, but Dr Lovestrange – that’s his stage name – has taken to it like a duck to water. Or should I say like a bulk-billing GP to a travelling circus.”  

“I knew the circus was in town,” said excited local Brad Unley, “and when I saw the long queue I decided to join it. I thought there might be something like the Elephant Man at the end, but instead it was a GP who stretched out a small thin arm through the bars of his cage and offered me a repeat prescription. What’s more he did it for free and even did a little jig for me.  

“It was a bit sad, to be honest, to see him like that, in a small barred cage with the floor covered in hay and a slops bucket in the corner.  

“Despite all the attention and all the open-mouthed children he looked desperately alone. He reminded me of that satellite they sent out into deep space, the one with the golden record forever playing Blind Willie Johnson’s Dark was the night. Gives me the shudders every time I think of it.” 

Dr Lovestrange can be seen at various country fairs this year including the Adelaide Royal show, alongside double-jointed acrobat Yektarina Kudashev and a two-headed alpaca called Lana.  

Sorry … what? 

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